Barricade

When they cut his cord

My brain twisted the remains

Into a rope

First the knots held me tightly

To him

No farther away than

The width of a nipple

So tight I couldn’t breathe

And ached for release

As he toddled

To manhood

And I wilted

From woman to

Mom to

Mama to

Ugh

and an eye roll

I pulled

elbow pulleys

As close as I could

Against his strain away

The fiber bite

Into my skin

Long calloused

From nursing

And I can’t escape

Before I willed to run from

Now I can’t fly close enough

But my hands are bound

Only eyes to watch heartbreak

To hear in throat clears

Disapppintment

Regret

Doubt

I would garrote

Any limb

To grant him ease

But this bind

Only slips like blood

For his use

If only pooled iron

Permeated

The soul

He would have

My barricade

To

What

Benefit

For The One Watching

The minutes stopped

On her

No longer the one she

Was in that small room

Floating on fluid

Tilting iridescent

Then in heat shock

A snail lost

From the water

Drying on land

Being watched

From a life detatched

Was she

His pivot

His anvil

His sacrifice

His priest

Was he

Forsaken

Forbidden

Guilty

Forgiven

Watching seconds

Afraid of

Second

Chances

Ringing alarms

Of timeless ache

She compels the clock

To kind slowness

Lost

Found

Taken back

Rewound

And they start again

All Covered

No

I didn’t see it

Tucked inside cement

So short on jailers

You wonder if the answer

Isn’t to open all the gates

Because more can’t hurt

Try to do everything

You miss almost everything

Only 20 years tells you

If your sin was a crime

Premeditated or passion

Same world on both side of the bars

But you won’t get off the ground

Exit

No one will give you

A red or blue pill

You are the pharmacy now

If you want to be sleek

And stunning

You should reconsider

They’re not looking

For you any more

You should be grateful

All your trials are

Your own judgement

You should be innocent.

But at least you left the house.

Unmet

A therapist told me

I choose the wrong ones

Again and again

Unable to give them

What I don’t have

So I can be to blame

When I can’t go

Or can’t come

Can’t drive

Go numb

Won’t talk

Shut down

Cringe to touch

Try to drown

Not free for three hours

On a hunce

Because I won’t

Combust my world

For a whim

I’ll keep apologizing

For not being at fault

Except for

I always am

And my deductible?

Never met.

Nailed

Board and bred

Tied and red

Pouring spout

Boring out

Hewn rough

Broken bluff

She was raised with

Flag and removed cover

Clay on table

Under the dirt

Right where they want her

Aboard

Missed he

Kissed she

Sailor want to

Frisk me

Spare a 20

Til I get paid

Don’t trust the boys

All only want laid

Down to sleep

Palm on the brow

You carry the boulder

Climb under the plow

They won’t see the blood

Won’t hear the scream

Only your nightmare

Stolen from dream

Please Don’t Tell Alanis

I listened

I failed her

The needed dress

To go nowhere

With the no one

I’ve invited

From the memory

Hole of hollow

Unasked favors

Disregarded dates

Don’t give up

I’ve taken off

Pushed from under

Stepped aside

Crawled away

Maybe next spring

Spared Head

In a house of naked necks

Some by choice

Some by chance

Cobbling a home

Of mousetraps

And tape

Wool hats, old boots

And bedtime checks

To hold hands against

A spared head

Willing, cursing

Reversing in vain

Resilience shown

On patched skin

Watching from the right side

Pride dipped to drown in dread

Luck fair stolen

Taken all the same

Other worlds grant blood in lieu

Of wrapped arms

Unworthy but given always

Greed-flavored gratitude

A poor exchange

For wondrous luxury

In humility’s name

If You Have To Jiggle It

Metal key

My meant-to-be

Finger fumbling

Heart drumming

Drunk dragging

Scratching teeth

Shaving the cylinder

Unable to push

The edges unlocked

Like an awkward

First kiss

Heavy risk

Wavering, wondering

Wide-eyed expectant

Not shut-lid supplicant

Withholding confession

Apologetic transgression

The door knob won’t yield

Can’t get home

Bonnie on the wrong side

Of the vault

Jiggling and giggling

To cover the

Gnawing, clawing

Doubt of worth

No desire to Clyde off

Into the sunset

Left curling and swirling

Twirling hopes for

The door to give

Forgive the lock

Its faults

Takes both ends to open