I’m not a good cook.
I’m not awful, I guess. But I produce more anxiety and self-deprecation and mess than delicious food. It’s something I’d like to change. And like writing or chair pose or plumbing, I suspect it’s something one needs a few tries at to get better. (Although chair pose and clogged toilets remain my arch enemies.)
But, I’m determined to keep saying yes. To keep trying.
So, making the food tonight. Yes. And if I burn or melt or otherwise desiccate the whole lot in my attempt, well I was probably going to order pizza anyway.
This won’t be Pinterest pretty. Won’t have flowery, detailed instructions. I’m making it all up. Without filters. So here goes.
I cut up whatever vegetables I had in my drawer. The ones on top of the many candy bars. And not the slimy, turned ones that I threw out. The carrots and red potatoes and sweet potatoes and green peppers that seemed still edible.
Take steak out of freezer and thaw. I know I lost most right there. The vegetarians and the good meat snobs. Sorry. This is real grown up life. Work and kid’s guitar lessons and laundry. I’m not dealing with Giant Eagle tonight. If it helps, I’m sure it was a really cheap cut, that I’m sure was only mediocre to middling at the start.
Put salt and pepper on it. Then more. Then yank the produce out of the water and throw their asses on a tray too. Same salt and pepper and maybe oil on them too. Who knows?
Heat the oven. Crank that bitch. How high? (he, he, high, weed joke.) But seriously. No idea. Just turn it up. Far as she goes. Then shove it all in. (he, he, sex joke that I won’t specify because this about my food not my kinks.)
Ten minutes. Maybe fifteen. Don’t know. I had ‘Call the Midwife’ on my Kindle and then needed to come up with rhyming words for march and restore (starch and before oh my gods these poor women without birth control pills!)
Then I had to stare at the pretty I had wrought. And play at artsy.
Plate that bitch.
Didn’t turn out half bad.
So, I did make the thing. We finished homework and ate the thing I made.
Yes. A good yes for today.
Even if it’s probably yes to pizza tomorrow.