Much Enough

When more become too much
It’s same as being not enough.
Today was too much.

I scheduled a visit with my therapist.
I missed a visit with my therapist.
I took that anger and hurt out on myself
and someone who was trying to help.
He left the house once to buy food.
And then again to buy different food
because I’m a miserable cunt.
I drank a lot of wine.
Cried a lot of tears.
He does too much.
From and for, us and them.                              I understand  why he came.                          I’ll never understand why                             he came back. 

It’s not enough.                                              It’s too much. 

That’s in my not enough head. 

In the much too real world, 

Our president bombed Syria.
Maybe that was too much.
Maybe it was not enough.
Children are dead.
Mine is safe
and spoiled and his
attitude reflects his place and making.
My too much.
My not enough.
Someday both will be his.

We are all becoming something we hate.
Hating what we can’t become.
Realizing tonight is too much.
And just, only tonight is not enough.

Tomorrow we want for more.
Need for more.
For ourselves and the ones
we push away,
out the door,
out of our lives,
out of this world.
We need this to make it.
Make it
not too much.
Only just enough.

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